I know I have heard this expression before perhaps spoken in different ways, but this time it really landed on me. It draws out of me aspects of my spiritual beliefs, my scientific inquiry into life, and my own personal journey of growth and understanding. So what does it mean, we are not our circumstances? What are the circumstances being referred to? In my own experience, which is all I can speak from, my circumstances of not finishing school in my mind meant that I was not smart, that I couldn’t learn, and would not amount to anything. My growing up in a dysfunctional family I thought meant I was unworthy, damaged goods, not fit for human consumption. All the errors, mistakes, misjudgments in my thinking, the wrongs against others I committed I thought meant that I was a bad person, unlovable.
These mental constructs of our life’s circumstances, or what are often called, meta-programs, do not hold any truth to them, they just hold experiences of our life, which may or may not be true. These events for the most part are neutral, being neither good or bad, they are just experiences. Just think, as a child being born into the world, everything is neutral, there is no meaning, and we are inherently joyful, we are raw possibility. We see in the newborn unlimited potential, and we would never assume that because we are prone to error, to fail at times, to make mistakes, that we would not want to provide this child with every opportunity to succeed. We move heaven and earth to create “possibilities” for our children, and in that assure that they get to express their full potential. When we step into the scientific realm we are told that we are again “raw potentiality”, sub atomic particles waiting for our thought process to coalesce and create our future, collapsing all other “possible” versions of reality for just one.
Though many possibilities and potential circumstances existed, we have the choice to pick our preferred reality. Just think of it, if our present circumstances are not working for, we get to choose another “possibility”! Didn’t the bible urge us to forgive each other, not to bear
grudges against our brother, and even at Jesus’s death he said “forgive them, they know not what they do”. This incredible sage knew that there was another “possibility” for humanity, and forgiveness of our circumstances was the key to unlocking a new possible future. And when we look at our children, friends, spouses, those who inhabit our social circle or place of work, how do we view them? I know I often struggle to see the good side of some people when my mind is set on seeing the villainous part of them. It is a challenging stance to take, to constantly look for the “possibility” in others at times, when all the ego wants to do is validate its stance. In this struggle what I find myself doing if I cannot wrestle my ego from it’s intent to demonize someone, is to slow down my breathing and ask myself deep inside my heart and soul, “what would love do”, and the possibility of them begins to arise. It’s not that I have to become best friends, invite people into my life necessarily that I have a challenge with, but it allows me not to use up precious mental and emotional band width harboring grudges or ill will. When it comes to those within my intimate circle, friends, children, family, it is amazing when you start to look for what you love and appreciate in them, and earnestly seek it out, your intention will evoke that response from them in your presence, and you see the “possibility” in them, they too will begin to see what you see.
We are truly co-creators of our lives, we are co-creators of possibilities for others, and I can only imagine what this world would look like if we lived in possibility and not in circumstance.
C.David Gilks Your Fellow Traveler
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