How do you know??

In this fascinating world that offers “plenty of knowledge on every thing” how do you which path to take and whose word to rely on? We have consultants for every thing imaginable, fitness to food, money to marriage, and sex to psychology. Of course there are thousands of others to pick from, these just happen to pop into my head So how do you know who to talk to, who to trust, where to put your money? That has been a probing question for me for many years as I poured through numerous books, courses, publications, and held counsel with various colleagues, therapist, PhDs in various fields of interest, and what I came up with, is, it depends. And what does it depend on? It depends what I am willing to act on and whom I trust. When it comes to those, like myself, who have careers as counselors or consultants in various fields of interest, you will find that we all have a bias to our particular point of view, of course, as that is what you are paying for in part.

But what is more important than the knowledge we are presenting to you is the ability of your counselor or consultant, to have a critical mindset so they are open to exploring new possibilities for you and with you. We find ourselves awash in a sea of variables which is why it is possible to get fit doing one activity that works for you but not the next person. There are numerous ways to develop wealth, but which one do you choose? There are a few things I look at that help me determine which path I will take. The first thing I look at is the character or personality of the person I may be doing business with. Simon Sinek in his book “ Start with Why” had stated that the reasons “why” we do things comes across in the unspoken part of the dialogue we are having with some one. Our thoughts are connected to our limbic system, which gives rise to our emotional expression, which is the “feeling” you pick up from somebody as you are speaking to them.

You would call this your “gut reaction”. It is something you can trust more than the words be spoken mostly. Your gut can tell you if this person can be trusted or not based on what they are giving off. The other thing you can look at comes from a biblical passage “you can judge a tree by the fruit it bears”. If your fitness person is not fit (they may have a great story of where they came from, overcoming obesity or disease however) they the likelihood is that that cannot help you. If their dietary behavior and overall lifestyle is a bit inconsistent with what they are selling, perhaps you should not be buying. I use this counsel as well when looking for financial advisors as well. If I earn more money than them, I will probably move onto the one who has earned an above average income who more than likely can help me. (just beware of guys named Bernie) I even employ the same philosophy to my therapist, massage, chiropractors, doctors etc, if they are not looking after their own health effectively I cannot imagine how they will be able to assist me in taking mine to the next level.

This all comes done to a point of congruency in the messaging that we are giving and what we are actually doing. I have spent the past 22 years building a career and my health after spending many years in a drug and alcohol stupor. One of the biggest things I have learned to develop, which I alluded to early on in this conversation, was the need for a critical thinker in your corner, somebody who knows that there are many possibilities to moving your forward in your goals, but in order to give what you truly need instead of what the present limitations of our knowledge would suggest, you are looking for someone who is good at asking questions and is not in a hurry to get you to sign on the dotted line.

C. David Gilks Your Fellow Traveler