As I wrote about yesterday, life is about not only contribution but also allowing ourselves to have the things we want. One of the things I am interested in doing more is “laughing”. My life growing up was about duty, work ethic, and angry people, so easy laughter did not ring out in our family home too often. I used alcohol to “lighten up” and it seemed to work at the time. I was funny (or so I thought) I found it easier to talk to others, striking up easy conversation, and the whole social process just seemed smoother if I was in an altered state. But what happens when you remove the “special sauce” and you have to actually “talk to people” relate to people? Not much actually, conversations become sparse, you look like a piece of awkward driftwood in the corner. In my business, or in arenas where I could lead the conversation, presenting etc, I was gold, but put me into a house with a bunch of people I don’t know, and I got nothing to say. So how does one who has had such a serious life, no really examples of happy laughing people to model growing up, learn how to laugh? Well, it might be easier than you think. One of the things I started doing is watching comedians on you tube. It was a suggestion from a coach friend of mine and man was it a great idea. I laughed so hard at times I cried. My body and mind simply need the experience of laughter, so if I didn’t have it, I had to go experience it, instead of bitching about the angry people I grew up with. The story of why I don’t laugh was just-a-story, though the events and actors were all real, it still was a story and what I “wanted” now is to laugh. So I take time to find things that make me laugh, and I practice as often as I can. The other thing I do to make me laugh, it certainly makes me smile, is to spend a day doing what my kids want to do. So last weekend Logan and I race high powered go-carts ( it was awesome ) and then a round of mini golf, followed by ice cream to end the day. Though there was still the typical sibling issues, there were kids laughing, having fun, and my favorite, giggling. Being present to these emotions, the look on their faces, their energy when they laugh is incredible. They are such great teachers of laughter. There is a time for all things, a time to sing, a time to be quite, a time to dance and a time to walk, but everyday I want to make time to laugh, simply because it feels so good to do so. How about you??
C. David Gilks Your Fellow Traveler
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