I was contemplating on going to bed but had to get this out of my mind and into print as it was demanding I give it voice. What you may ask was “demanding” voice from me? As I go through life, and grow through life, I have born witness to many startling revelations that slap me so hard my ears ring, and that is the pain and pleasure of personal growth. If you have read some of my previous blogs you will have come to realize I love spending time in deep introspection and enjoy unraveling the fabric of ideas, beliefs and supposed ridged mental constructs. The reason for this “hobby” of mine is that I have come to realize, and have been illuminate by numerous scientist, sages and philosophers that things are not always as they “are”, things are more often as we “believe” or “think” them to be.
This lateral thinking simply said, as it has been said thousands of times for thousands of years, our beliefs create our reality. So nothing new, right? What I was becoming aware of, painfully aware of, was that a large degree of my suffering was caused not by the circumstances of my life, though there was suffering in my life, but the real pain and suffering was caused by my blindness or inability to see what the real issue was. This thing in my head, this voice that demanded an audience with my conscious mind, was relentless. There were aspects of my life that I was being cautioned about, told to pay attention to, warning signs that were apparent to my soul, but my ego mind was afraid of what it could mean so it kept the voice muffled so I couldn’t hear the message. My ego battled with the messenger for years, and my body was the battlefield. Stress, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, were some of the signs of the war that waged within my soul, and I was unaware that I was being instructed to grow, to become more powerful than ever before, and my ego wasn’t having any of it.
The old self concept of an unworthy, unlovable, unsuccessful human being were powerful entrenched in my psyche, but as I explored the teachings of so many great sages or thought leaders, my soul was awakening to the possibility of something new, something different, a new path I was to take and the promise of grace, love, and powerful friendships and a chance to really make a difference in the world. During this struggle there were days I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but there was an intuitive nudge that keep me taking one more step, just get through one more day. But as promised, the clouds did break, the path became much clearer, and the ego has much less of a commanding role in my life, and my soul has become place of love and wonder.
I am sure there are days you just want to stay under the covers, and there are days you wished it would all just stop, but if you listen closely to the sound of your soul, the beautiful voice of love and possibility can be heard, and you need just follow that sound until the life you deserve unfolds in front of you. Just one day at a time.
C. David Gilks Your Fellow Traveler
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