The "I AM" Project
of
Rev Deacon
Ravings of a Mad Man
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The "I AM" Project |
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LOVE
MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY...BULLSHIT! Date: Unknown |
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Who ever wrote that, must not like to apologize. Well,
neither do I. Personally, I like to think things through before I open my mouth. As a
child, I was taught that to have to apologize was a weakness. So, I have spent many years
of my life trying to make sure I did not place myself in a position to have to say "I
am sorry!". Recently however, the above title has been running through my mind. Why it appeared in my thinking, I did not understand until yesterday. Prior to yesterday, I just knew that I was being directed to do a writing about that title and put it here. Then the Universe brought a situation to me that taught me what to write here. This is about me and the person that wrote that fabulous poem on Unconditional Love that is also here in this section. If you have read that and the information associated with it, you will have some understanding of this relationship that I am in. But, as all relationships evidently must have from time to continue to grow in some aspects, we have recently had a conflict. Unfortunately, this conflict did not appear to be one that was going to be resolved. From my point of view, it was one of those times when neither one of us was really listening to what the other was saying. Conflict sometimes causes questions that each need answered. And, when you are having the conflict from a distance (we live 80 miles away from each other) we also sometimes start to do the craziness of reading other things into the conflict, or relate what we are receiving to things of the past, or, any other things that our insecurities (ego) can bring into the thinking to make one’s moment even crazier. This also becomes a test for that "Unconditional Love" aspect. Anyway, this conflict led to a conversation by phone that ended with both of us very tense and we got off the phone without the conflict being resolved. I had business to attend to and as I was driving across the freeway (the "I AM" and the "I" talk a great deal on freeway trips), the answer to my side of the conflict came and the reason why the above title was bouncing around in my head. The following is some of that dialogue: I: "Am I the one wrong in this issue?" I AM: "Hmmm..." I: "Is she the one wrong in this issue?" I AM: "Hmmm..." These non-answers were not what I was expecting, so I tried a different approach. I: "Am I wrong with my feelings?" I AM: "No!" Ahh, an answer. But, what about her side? I: "Is she wrong with her feelings?" I AM: "No!" Okay, neither of us are wrong. I: "Now what?" I AM: "Is who is right or wrong an important issue here?" Ooops, did we get caught at the human level of Love. And, is this really an act of unconditional love? No, it is not. The rest of the dialogue brought me to further calmness with the situation. When I returned home and went up to my e-mails, there was another of her eloquent correspondences full of words of Love and apologies from her (desire to show those wonderful words to you, but do not have her permission at this moment). Damn she beat me to the punch! But then, good for her. But, I received a message that I should place my apology in front of the world. You got to be kidding! It wasn’t. So, this apology is for me, and my need to grow in this area...and for her, who I truly Love in an unconditional manner enough to do this. "Angel in my life, I apologize to you for any discomforts that I have caused you in this situation, or any that I may have caused in the past. My Love for you is greater than any need in this human environment to be right. I forgive myself in this action, and ask for your forgiveness. I do cherish the whole person that you are, and the Love that you share with me. Please accept this apology with the Divine Love. The DEACON" |
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HOW TO MAKE: LOVE DONATIONS |
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